They said that words cast a spell, a prayer. So, what can be said for the words “I’m Sorry”? I believe that to give or receive forgiveness is the highest form of grace. We have to understand that forgiveness is an essential part of healing – both forgiving others and forgiving ourselves. With holding forgiveness from either others or from ourselves in a way is a form of great torture.

Imagine for a second someone you love unconditionally. It can be a family member, a friend… it can even be your puppy or that warm little cat snuggled beside you as your read this. Imagine you did something to this being, this being who loves you unconditionally, and that upon this act you feel great regret for causing harm. Now this being loves you unconditionally, and usually they forgive. But this time, this time, your being does not forgive.

How does it feel when forgiveness is withheld?

When you forgive we start a cycling of healing. From birth, we are all born into cycles of drama and trauma, some much worse than others. As we are born into cycles of trauma and drama the first course of forgiveness is towards our parents. Mothers and fathers who themselves are human. Evolving with age, when then become aware of the need to forgive ourselves. We are after all just humans. Our bodies fail, and our minds lead into dark places. Sometimes, it can be so helpful to just forgive ourselves – so we can accept ourselves.

It is with forgiveness that we find acceptance. It is with forgiveness that we fully accept ourselves and with that unconditional acceptance we begin to release resentment, anger and hate.

Once we forgive ourselves we evolve to eventually forgive others more easily as well.

I find the trick lies with finding forgiveness in ourselves.

Forgiveness is an emotion associated with the heart. In traditional Chinese medicine, and as explored through Yin Yoga, the organs of the body are all affected by the emotional body. The subtle emotional body can change the effectiveness of the liver, or the gallbladder. However, the organ of the heart is special in the sense that it is the only organ that can FEEL all of the emotions. So, in a way the heart is most likely to be affected by ALL the emotions.

According to the subtle energetic body, as learned through yin yoga, the heart chakra is the location in which forgiveness develops. Anahata is located in the center of the chest, “heart center” and sits just above our power chakra, Manipura.

When our power chakra is in alignment along the spine with the rest of the seven chakra we have the increased capability for forgiveness. When we know who we are and we are not afraid to be that person, it becomes much easier to forgive ourselves for the perceived mistakes made along the way.

Knowing who we are presupposes forgiveness because the journey to find that person is littered with heart break. As we learn about ourselves we have to break ourselves open time and time again and with that action we learn that being human is a difficult task.

As we learn through the breaking we discover compassion is the key to understanding the human experience and we forgive both ourselves and others more easily because only love supports our healthy growth.

Forgiveness facilitates something we talk a lot about in our modern day culture: letting go. What is letting go? My mentor, Tracey Soghrati, describes it as the release of intense internal pressure. She suggests the only way to release intense internal pressure inside of the human body is to feel the emotion fully.

So then, how do we feel the emotion of forgiveness fully?

I’ve found the Hawaiian practice of Hoʻoponopono to be one of the best ways understand and to feel forgiveness fully.

The ritual of Ho’oponopono is based in four sentences: I’m sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you.

I’m sorry allows us to recognize our wrongs. It gives us the opportunity to feel fully the weight of our decisions and to accept that they have not only changed our energetic vibration but maybe another persons. Furthermore, it is the acceptance that we understood we have done wrong and wish to change that.

Please forgive me is an active voice for forgiveness to take shape. One asks to receive forgiveness in hopes of healing. If forgiveness is granted the relationship can evolve into one that is more loving and compassionate, as in the act of forgiving it is accepted that both humans are capable of such fault.

I love you is my favorite expression of forgiveness it this form as it presupposes that we are all one and the same. That we are all family and that my love, is your love and when forgiveness is asked for this love is unconditional.

Thank you reinforces the notion that you have learned from your actions. That this mistake is no longer a mistake – but instead a stepping stone for your foundational evolution.

In saying thank you we move from guilt to compassion and we allow both ourselves and the hurt party to move away from resentment. Thank you creates a door way for integration.

Integration is the shift between our experiences and the creation of wisdom around those experiences. It is the knowledge making that is incurred when we slow down to take stock of how we are living. Wisdom is the ability to know whether or not our current present experience is fulfilling us anymore.

When we are grateful for our experiences they move from being deeply scarring to something that empowers us deeply.

If we chose love we choose forgiveness.

When we let go of the pain and forgive or accept forgiveness we allow for our best selves to show.

When we accept the forgiveness of another we allow for their best selves to show.

When we push forgiveness away we harbor hate in our hearts, leaving no room for love to grow.

At the end of the day we have to remember we are not human beings having a material experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience. Forgiveness is the rosetta stone to understanding that human-ness we all share. Without forgiveness we will forget how to love.

Open your heart. Forgive. Choose love.